I'm a little nervous. I've been thinking of putting together this very public blog for a while now to make myself accountable to friends, family and a whole lot of (possible) strangers who will get to see me in my most unflattering of lights. Tonight I plan to take photos of me as I am right now and post them as my baseline.
I am nervous because it's a side of me that I am not proud of nor am I really wanting to have in the public eye. I am self conscious about how I look and am of course not excited about my worst attributes being put on display. But I also know that the rewards of my public battle will ultimately be the best thing for me.
My goal is find my abs. I suspect they're somewhere under there. I've never seen them in all of my years. Whatever weight that ends up being, then that's what it is so I don't have a particular weight goal in mind, but I do know that I have a lot of work (and time) to get finally get there. I will not do this at the expense of my health - the overall goal is to find fitness - both physically and mentally so that my inner self image and my outer align. But I still want to see my abs.
I've had this planned for a while now, but I've actually been putting this off for a while because I'm scared of this idea of mine - and that it happens to be in a New Year's Resolution window is maybe coincidence - or maybe it just seems the right thing to do.
I want to do a weekly weigh in with updated photos. Over time, I'll do recaps to see how I've done - hopefully more for the better than the worse. First posting should be in the morning!
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